A story about love, loss, learning and regrets.
Path of Regret
Path of Regret
Tonight I'm sitting on holidays in a beautiful part of the world, but I've been in a deep melancholy.
The contrast between the peaceful sound of the ocean and the tenderness I've got in my heart is profound.
Holidays aren't supposed to be like this!
Yesterday, when we arrived in Vanuatu, I strolled into the resort's mini library and grabbed a book off the shelf. It was one I hadn't read before, but from an author I knew wrote funny, insightful stories.
Except this one wasn't.
It was an achingly beautiful story about unrequited love, choices, passion, pragmatism and life.
It was magnificent. I couldn't put it down.
When I got to the end, I sobbed in happiness... and sadness. All afternoon the characters followed me around the resort, peppering me with questions. From my sundowner cocktail to a delightful dinner (which was made even better by the fact that it was cooked by somebody else), they hung in the shadows, whispering.
Questions turned inside me, and this evening I had to pick the book up and reread passages, absorbing nuances that I'd missed the first time, trying to make sense of what had struck me so deeply.
And finally, it did strike me.
A few weeks ago, a friend confessed his anguish about having to choose between taking his child to their first real concert or going to a big work function. He simultaneously felt the weight of responsibility for his work and the precious moments of his growing child slipping through his fingers.
His choice was emblematic of one many of us face each day:
To be drawn to what pulls us toward it (like our work, our routines, our habits),
or to refute that gravity to follow what we KNOW is right.
My friend's dilemma turned on a lightbulb for me: a truth that I've lived for a long time, but never put words on.
When there's a fork in the road, choose the one you know in your soul you won't regret taking.
Start that business. Follow that boyfriend or girlfriend to the other side of the world. Have those kids. Take that trip. Go to that concert.
Because it's certain that nostalgia and melancholy will come to find you in the days ahead.
And when it does, you'll have to face up to some hard truths.
Yes, maybe those paths led you to difficult times, to failures and to heartbreak.
But, when we're following the path we know we won't regret, these hard things are sources of growth and learning. Cracks in the shell of who we are, so that we can become who we must be.
"'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" wrote Tennyson
Tonight, I listen to the sound of the ocean and realise that I haven't been having nostalgia for the past, or sadness about the many decisions that I've gotten wrong.
I've been having powerful gratitude for all the moments that have gone right, and gratefulness that, for as long as I can now remember, I've followed the path of no regrets.
And maybe it's okay to feel a little emotional about that.
The contrast between the peaceful sound of the ocean and the tenderness I've got in my heart is profound.
Holidays aren't supposed to be like this!
Yesterday, when we arrived in Vanuatu, I strolled into the resort's mini library and grabbed a book off the shelf. It was one I hadn't read before, but from an author I knew wrote funny, insightful stories.
Except this one wasn't.
It was an achingly beautiful story about unrequited love, choices, passion, pragmatism and life.
It was magnificent. I couldn't put it down.
When I got to the end, I sobbed in happiness... and sadness. All afternoon the characters followed me around the resort, peppering me with questions. From my sundowner cocktail to a delightful dinner (which was made even better by the fact that it was cooked by somebody else), they hung in the shadows, whispering.
Questions turned inside me, and this evening I had to pick the book up and reread passages, absorbing nuances that I'd missed the first time, trying to make sense of what had struck me so deeply.
And finally, it did strike me.
A few weeks ago, a friend confessed his anguish about having to choose between taking his child to their first real concert or going to a big work function. He simultaneously felt the weight of responsibility for his work and the precious moments of his growing child slipping through his fingers.
His choice was emblematic of one many of us face each day:
To be drawn to what pulls us toward it (like our work, our routines, our habits),
or to refute that gravity to follow what we KNOW is right.
My friend's dilemma turned on a lightbulb for me: a truth that I've lived for a long time, but never put words on.
When there's a fork in the road, choose the one you know in your soul you won't regret taking.
Start that business. Follow that boyfriend or girlfriend to the other side of the world. Have those kids. Take that trip. Go to that concert.
Because it's certain that nostalgia and melancholy will come to find you in the days ahead.
And when it does, you'll have to face up to some hard truths.
Yes, maybe those paths led you to difficult times, to failures and to heartbreak.
But, when we're following the path we know we won't regret, these hard things are sources of growth and learning. Cracks in the shell of who we are, so that we can become who we must be.
"'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" wrote Tennyson
Tonight, I listen to the sound of the ocean and realise that I haven't been having nostalgia for the past, or sadness about the many decisions that I've gotten wrong.
I've been having powerful gratitude for all the moments that have gone right, and gratefulness that, for as long as I can now remember, I've followed the path of no regrets.
And maybe it's okay to feel a little emotional about that.
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